FUKIN' FUKUOKA 05/11/06
WHY THE FUCK IN FUKUOKA?
Sounds like my drinking days. You get drunk and fuck, you woke in Fukuoka
I left Korea b/c I was told that under my E2 Visa I had 14 days. Turns out that was wrong. I thought I had fly out, get a tourist Visa, come back and have 30 days to find a job and then fly out and come back in under a new E2. WRONG.
1) I have a multiple entry Visa. That means I had 6 months. I wasted my last $500 on a trip for nothing
2) It was totally worth my money. I discovered that I qualify for an E5 Visa, which means that I can stay in Korea for 5 years and can teach on my own. All I have to do is pay taxes. That means I can start my own school immediately.
3) I am going to take a 4 month course in Korean at one of the best schools in Korea. It will cost me 300,000 won ($300). They specialize in helping people pass a government test called the TOPEK. It is a government diploma that says what level of Korean you have. If you have a level 2 then nearly any corporation or firm will take you. They specialize in getting people a Level 2 diploma in 4 months.
NEXT STEPS:
1) Enjoy a 3 day vacation in Japan. This city is beautiful. The transit systems in Japan and Korea is amazing, efficient & easy to understand. I can travel the city for nearly nothing. This place offers a full meal every morning with more food than you can imagine for free. I just fill my backpack with a few salads and sandwiches and put them in my fridge. Eating is free.
2) Poop. I really don't need to poop, but all of the toilets here have two little buttons: men and women. I have heard of Bidets (spelling?) before, but they squirt the butt. I will own one.
In Korea the public bathrooms have hole in the floor that looks like a built in urinal. You pull down you pants and squat over it and poop in the hole. I refuse to use them. You must carry your own toilet paper in Korea. In Japan the public restrooms rinse your bung with a nice warm stream of water that says "welcome to the land of the rising sun (and nice clean bung)." OK, I added that last part.
Out of curiosity, I pushed the woman's button. It squirted warm water all over by balls. It was nice, but it made me had to pee again.
It did help give me a geographic perspective on the location of the female anatomy though. I am afraid to have sex in the dark because I don't get laid that often. My aim is off and sometimes the search for the holy land is it like trying to get the keys in your ignition when you're really drunk.
Sometimes the search is so awkward that, well, the key goes limp. Same thing with putting on a rubber. I know you got a 50/50 chance of getting it on the right way the first time, but that process of unwrapping the damn thing and getting it on gives the penis performance anxiety. I want to name a band after it. I think Kearney came up with the phrase: "Limp Dick and the Whiskeys."
Face it, looking for the gopher hole or putting on a raincoat interrupt sex. Both are like giving someone an invitation to their own surprise party. It just takes the "bang" out of things.
3) Cash in $5000 from my retirement immediately and get an E5. I found that there is a boat that goes from Korea to Japan for $175 round trip. It is only $20 for the train ride from Seoul to the boat at Busan. I could get it done in a week for less than $300. I then am a prized possession.
SO YES, I CAME TO JAPAN FOR NOTHING, BUT GAINED SO MUCH INFORMATION THAT IT WAS WORTH IT'S WEIGHT IN GOLD.
I HAVE TWO DAYS TO TAKE PICTURES OF THE TEMPLES AND BEAUTIFUL PONDS.
I must go now. I really don't have to poop, but I just it just makes me feel so fresh. It is also a good way to splash some warm water in your face in the morning when you wake up. JUST KIDDING.
PEACE.
WHAT THE FUCK AM IN DOING IN FUKUOKA! KDF
Sounds like my drinking days. You get drunk and fuck, you woke in Fukuoka
I left Korea b/c I was told that under my E2 Visa I had 14 days. Turns out that was wrong. I thought I had fly out, get a tourist Visa, come back and have 30 days to find a job and then fly out and come back in under a new E2. WRONG.
1) I have a multiple entry Visa. That means I had 6 months. I wasted my last $500 on a trip for nothing
2) It was totally worth my money. I discovered that I qualify for an E5 Visa, which means that I can stay in Korea for 5 years and can teach on my own. All I have to do is pay taxes. That means I can start my own school immediately.
3) I am going to take a 4 month course in Korean at one of the best schools in Korea. It will cost me 300,000 won ($300). They specialize in helping people pass a government test called the TOPEK. It is a government diploma that says what level of Korean you have. If you have a level 2 then nearly any corporation or firm will take you. They specialize in getting people a Level 2 diploma in 4 months.
NEXT STEPS:
1) Enjoy a 3 day vacation in Japan. This city is beautiful. The transit systems in Japan and Korea is amazing, efficient & easy to understand. I can travel the city for nearly nothing. This place offers a full meal every morning with more food than you can imagine for free. I just fill my backpack with a few salads and sandwiches and put them in my fridge. Eating is free.
2) Poop. I really don't need to poop, but all of the toilets here have two little buttons: men and women. I have heard of Bidets (spelling?) before, but they squirt the butt. I will own one.
In Korea the public bathrooms have hole in the floor that looks like a built in urinal. You pull down you pants and squat over it and poop in the hole. I refuse to use them. You must carry your own toilet paper in Korea. In Japan the public restrooms rinse your bung with a nice warm stream of water that says "welcome to the land of the rising sun (and nice clean bung)." OK, I added that last part.
Out of curiosity, I pushed the woman's button. It squirted warm water all over by balls. It was nice, but it made me had to pee again.
It did help give me a geographic perspective on the location of the female anatomy though. I am afraid to have sex in the dark because I don't get laid that often. My aim is off and sometimes the search for the holy land is it like trying to get the keys in your ignition when you're really drunk.
Sometimes the search is so awkward that, well, the key goes limp. Same thing with putting on a rubber. I know you got a 50/50 chance of getting it on the right way the first time, but that process of unwrapping the damn thing and getting it on gives the penis performance anxiety. I want to name a band after it. I think Kearney came up with the phrase: "Limp Dick and the Whiskeys."
Face it, looking for the gopher hole or putting on a raincoat interrupt sex. Both are like giving someone an invitation to their own surprise party. It just takes the "bang" out of things.
3) Cash in $5000 from my retirement immediately and get an E5. I found that there is a boat that goes from Korea to Japan for $175 round trip. It is only $20 for the train ride from Seoul to the boat at Busan. I could get it done in a week for less than $300. I then am a prized possession.
SO YES, I CAME TO JAPAN FOR NOTHING, BUT GAINED SO MUCH INFORMATION THAT IT WAS WORTH IT'S WEIGHT IN GOLD.
I HAVE TWO DAYS TO TAKE PICTURES OF THE TEMPLES AND BEAUTIFUL PONDS.
I must go now. I really don't have to poop, but I just it just makes me feel so fresh. It is also a good way to splash some warm water in your face in the morning when you wake up. JUST KIDDING.
PEACE.
WHAT THE FUCK AM IN DOING IN FUKUOKA! KDF
posted by KELLY FRAZIER at 12:33 PM
3 Comments:
At least your starting to get your sense of humor back--some of the the things you say are SOOOO funny!!! Just remember one thing--alot of people read this (including mom) and you say the "f" word ALOT!!! Not that I care, but it does offend some!!!! LOve you just the same!!
Fuck.
Yes I have asked my priest,(CATHOLIC)The Bible is an interpretation of the folks who transcribed it, most of it lost in translation due to the fact that Greeks of the time only had limited knowledge of old Hebrew language. Most of the miracles were footnotes to describe the teachings of Christ. For those who wish to beleive, tear out all pages of your Bible which seem unbelievable, and keep those that make sense and go from there.
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