LEGALLY PROHIBITED FROM WEARING SPANDEX
Some have suggested I post a "naturalle'" picture in spandex. Though I wear the "spandex" shorts that bicylcist's wear, I am actually under a RESTRAINING ORDER prohibiting me from wearing any other sort of Spandex. I cannot mention names, as I signed a confidentiality order, but here is a brief (pardon the pun) summary.
I was wearing Spandex one day while walking through the bra department at Sears. My imagination got the best of me and I popped a steamrod. There was not enough room to accommodate my raging boner and the Spandex finally snapped. There were several thousand dollars worth of property damage and 2 store clerks were taken away by ambulance. Tragically, a young girl buying her first training bra was too close to when it all popped loose. She had to wear to an eyepatch for several weeks. The last I heard she was still single and in therapy. I think I turned her LEZ.
SO, SORRY the spandex thing is not an option.
Peace. Kelly
I was wearing Spandex one day while walking through the bra department at Sears. My imagination got the best of me and I popped a steamrod. There was not enough room to accommodate my raging boner and the Spandex finally snapped. There were several thousand dollars worth of property damage and 2 store clerks were taken away by ambulance. Tragically, a young girl buying her first training bra was too close to when it all popped loose. She had to wear to an eyepatch for several weeks. The last I heard she was still single and in therapy. I think I turned her LEZ.
SO, SORRY the spandex thing is not an option.
Peace. Kelly
posted by KELLY FRAZIER at 5:59 AM
3 Comments:
I've been out of the loop for a couple of days dealing with the last of my mother's stuff. I check your blog and all hell broke out! Oh my god! Your ankle! What's the update? Have you been to a doctor? Are you ok? Owwwwww!
Congratulations on the last day of school and the start of the new job. :)
I suppose with a story that good I'll have to let you off the spandex hook. But I'm telling Jamie!
are you all right?? T_T
i just dropped by your blog to find your great joy with your new job, but now i find your pain.
hope you'll get well soon~.
Take care.
I'm glad the spandex is out if the question, and as far as that girl from Sears--I ran into her the other day, and she told me the therapy was not because of what you say was there, but because of what is SUSPOSED to be there, and she told me you were a liar--you actually used a hanger to poke her eye out!! You otta be ashamed of yourself!!!
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