Saturday, July 01, 2006

DOGMA: WISCONSIN IS NOT A PRISON FOR ANGELS

WOW, Did that really happen? It all seems like a dream.

My flight from Seoul to Hong Kong was scheduled for 6/21. I felt like the walls of my apartment were getting smaller and hotter by the day. My rent was due 6/10 and I hadn't paid it. I realized that the landlord knew I was leaving and they were trying to get ahold of me at the last minute despite the fact that I had been trying for 6 weeks to arrange a meeting. It was all a scam to make sure I didn't get my deposit back.

I told them I would meet them at 5, and then got all my shit to the curb and grabbed a taxi to take me to an air conditioned hotel room where I could spend my last night in peace. I hit the airport and my flight was cancelled. They set me up in a killer suite and free dinner and breakfast. It was nice to have an extra day to relax.

The new flight was only half full and I got to set up my laptop and watch movies on my laptop and kick back. It was a 15 hour flight. I left at 5 pm and arrived at 5:30 pm. Karen was there waiting for me and I simply cannot explain how it felt to see her. The only word I can think of is safe.

I pinch myself each day. We have begun to discuss what our next step will be. My mind is wide open. My only goal is to spend as much time as it takes to somehow try to bring to her life a portion of what she has given me. I don't know how to explain how I feel. Words are not really adequate. It is like calling someone on your cel-phone to explain a sunrise. There are things you can see and feel that are more intimate for words. That's basically where I am at.

For the time being I am motioning into Wisconsin for a license. However, Karen is not hung up on geography. Neither am I. Our goal right now is to find the a place on the globe where the sun that is best for us both. I want a place where the shines equally on the gardens we have spent our lives tilling. We have many seeds we have been holding onto and never been in a position where we have felt that our environment is suitable to plant our garden.

Right now our focus is to find a location for an opportunity where we can grow our gardens and not have to compete for sunlight and the rain. I have been trying to grow a single and tall solitary sunflower in an isolated field. My ego has isolated me from the idea that shade is a vital part of life in times of drought and unforgiving heat.

My feeling is that she has conceded too much of her potential. She has allowed herself to remain in the shade of weeds that force her to remain stunted in their shade.

There has to be a way where the friuts of our gardens can co-exist in equality. My dream is to find a place where we share sunlight in common. At the same time I want us both to realize that we each have unique strengths. As a couple we can share our strenghts oand our vulnerabilities. We must share the sun, but we can also provide vital shade when we see a unprotected blossom scalding under the unmitigated heat of an unrelenting solar broiler.

All metaphore aside, I am happy as shit and have finally realized I was not on an island, I was simply on a peninsula with a shitty sense of direction. Men are notorious for not stopping and asking for directions. I plead guilty. However, at least I had the common sense to fall in love with someone that has provided me a sense of direction.

In the old days it was Lewis and Clark. Since Superman there has been Loius and Clark Kent. I am more than happy to be Clark, and I am madly in love with Louis. My next step is the whole phone booth/flight thing. In the words of Ray Davies:

SUPERMAN
Woke up this morning, started to sneeze
I had a cigarette and a cup of tea
I looked in the mirror, what did I see
A nine stone weakling with knobbly knees
I did my knees bend press ups touch my toes
I had another sneeze and I blew my nose
I looked in the mirror at my pigeon chest
I had to put on my clothes because it made me depressed

Surely there must be a way
For me to change the shape I'm in
Dissatisfied with what I am
I want to be a better man

Superman Superman wish I could fly like Superman
Superman Superman I want to be like Superman
I want to be like Superman
Superman Superman wish I could fly like Superman

Woke up this morning, what did I see
A big black cloud hanging over me
I switched on the radio and nearly dropped dead
The news was so bad that I fell out of bed
There was a gas strike, oil strike, lorry strike, bread strike
Got to be a Superman to survive
Gas bills, rent bills, tax bills, phone bills
I'm such a wreck but I'm staying alive

Hey girl we've got to get out of this place
There's got to be something better than this
I need you, but I hate to see you this way
If I were Superman then I'd fly you away
I'd really like to change the world
And save it from the mess it's in
I'm too weak, I'm so thin
I'd like to fly but I can't even swim

Superman Superman I want to fly like Superman
Superman Superman wish I could fly like Superman

1 Comments:

Blogger Stella said...

Yea!

7:28 AM  

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